Ms or is it Mr Granger
by MadChild
Summary: When Hermione finds out who her true parents are her life takes a bizarre.Suddnly she isn't Hermione any more, Heck she isn't even a girl anymore. Now she's the new student at Hogwarts, what is girl,erm,guy to do when everything goes bizerk? r for implie
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters, or places, well you know the drill.  
Hermione Granger was a normal 17 year old girl.Well about as normal as could be expected from a student from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry , and a best friend of Harry Potter. Hermione was kicked back on her bed with an apple reading through her school books for the upcoming year when the doorbell rang. A few minutes later the doorbell rang again.Figuring no one was gonna get it she sighed and put down her book. Hermione poked her head into her parents room to see why no one else had gotten the door. No one was there, but from an open window she heard giggles coming from her backyard. Pushing the curtains aside she saw her mother and father gardening.But what really caught her attention was how into each other they seemed. The way they looked at each other, like to new lovers. Hermione smiled and made her way downstairs thinking about how she wanted what her parents had. The doorbell rang again signifying the impatience of the person on the other side.  
  
"I'm coming!" she yelled Taking the last four stairs at a jump she hurried towards the door and opened it.  
  
"P-P-Professor Dumbledore?! Professor Snape?!"  
  
"Hello Ms. Granger. May we come in? We have some things to discuss with you." Dumbledore told Hermione.  
  
"Oh of course! Come in, come in." Hermione opened the door wider in order to allow passage to her guests. "Should I get my parents?"  
  
"Yes Ms. Granger I think that would be wise." Dumbledore replied.  
  
"Okay, just hold on for one moment." She said and turned on her heal to fetch her parents.  
  
She walked out into her backyard wondering what was wrong. Certainly the headmaster didn't come to visit his students for any good reason.  
  
"Mum! Dad!" She called to her parents "My Headmaster is here and he would like a word with us all."  
  
Arlene Granger's face assumed a worried expression "Is anything wrong dear?" she asked  
  
"Truthfully Mum, I don't know." Hermione said  
  
"Alright, go in and tell them we'll be there as soon as we've washed up." Matthew Granger told her.  
  
"Will do Dad." Hermione replied and then walked back into the house to relay the message to their guests.  
  
Ten minutes later everyone was seated in the living room .  
  
"Is something wrong Mr. Dumbledore?" Mrs. Granger asked.  
  
"It's Professor, Mum." Hermione told her mother.  
  
Professor Dumbledore waved his hand signifying that his proper title was of no importance right now.  
  
"First, if you'll excuse us Ms. Granger , we must speak to your parents." Dumbledore said  
  
"Okay,I'll be up in my room then." Hermione stated  
  
Hermione walked out of the room wondering what was going on. This was defiantly strange.Hermione flopped back down on her bed and picked up her book.After a moment she slammed it down again, aggravated because now she couldn't concentrate.She spent the next ten mminutes mind racing with questions and what she hoped were answers.When she heard the knock on her door she literally jumped up and threw the door open.There stood her mother and Father. Both looked very pale and shaken, but only her mother had tears pouring down her cheeks.  
  
"Hermione, There are some things we have to tell you." Her mother managed to choke out.  
  
"Does it have something to do with why my Headmaster is here?" Hermione asked  
  
Her mother nodded "Professor Dumbledore thinks it would be best if we told you alone, You see honey, When your father and I got married we tried as hard as we could to have a baby.We tried for three years.Then we found out that I wasn't capable of conceiving, but we wanted a baby so bad.So we adopted."  
  
"Me, You adopted me." Hermione deadpanned.  
  
Arlene Granger just nodded.  
  
"Professor Dumbledore will explain the rest downstairs.He just thought we should be the ones to tell you that." Her father said gently as he led his wife out of the room.  
  
Hermione sat there for a moment taking in what her parents had just told her. After a moment she got up and walked downstairs and into the living room where everyone was sitting quietly.  
  
"You have something to tell me Headmaster." Hermione said quietly as she sat down  
  
"Yes, Ms. Granger, you are aware of the current state of the wizarding world, and the war." Dumbledore said  
  
Hermione snorted "Kinda hard not to be aware of it considering my bestfriend."  
  
Dumbledore let out a chuckle, "Yes well, what is not known to many, including you and Messers. Weasley and Potter is that both Voldermort and the Ministry are looking for a certain person." Dumbledore said staring at her meaningfully over the tops of his half moon spectacles.  
  
"ME!?!" Hermione yelped "Why me?"  
  
"Because you are not Hermione Anne Granger.You are Hermione Anne Riddle." He told her  
  
Hermione watched him for a moment and then burst into laughter. "Oh I get it.This is a joke."  
  
Snape sighed "No Ms. Granger, it is not." He said , speaking for the first time.  
  
Hermione looked at all their faces searching for some kind of reassurance that this was infact a joke.  
  
She moaned "Beautiful, just friggin beautiful."  
  
"Erm.yes, well I have talked it over with Professor McGonagall, Professor Snape, and Professor Lupin , and we all feel it would be best for you to disguise yourself."  
  
"Disguise myself?"  
  
"Yes, and seeing as how everyone will be looking for a girl, we think it would also be best to make you a boy." Dumbledore replied "Professor Snape has been kind enough to brew you a potion that will do just that. That combined with a few charms that will insure that youdon't have to take the potion every morning, I mean imagine if while sleeping in the boys dormitory you woke up as a girl, and what if someone saw you? Ecspecially since we are going to tell everyone you are dead."  
  
"You what?" Hermione asked incrediously  
  
"Well how else are we going to explain away you absence, besides it will buy time for us to figure out just what to do about you." Dumbledore said  
  
"Why do I have to disguise myself?" She asked  
  
"Well you can bet that Voldermort will be after his only living child, and the ministry will also want you.This is the safest for you Ms. Granger." Dumbledore said.  
  
But Hermione had stopped listening "What do you mean his only living child? There was more?"  
  
"Yes, See you were part of a set of triplets.Your sisters died a few shortly after being born."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Ms. Granger there is one more thing before we get on with this." Dumbledore said "You are going to go stay with Professor Snape's Brother, Angelo, He has gladly decided to help out anyway he can. Atleast for a while now Angelo will be your 'father' and his wife, Sabrina, will be your 'mother'.And now, Severus, the potion if you will."  
  
Snape handed the potion to Hermione. Hermione uncorked it and sniffed it. "Blech, that smells unholy!" She stated.  
  
"Well it isn't supposed to smell like roses Ms. Granger." Snape replied  
  
"Oh well, here goes nothing ." Hermione said then downed the potion. "Oh, that's horrible!"  
  
The burning started slowly but once it got going it spread fast.Hermione felt as though her whole body was on fire.There was a great roaring in her ears so she could only faintly hear someone mumbling an incantation.After a few seconds of that sensation the burning subsided almost as fast as it had spread.  
  
"Well that's that." Professor Dumbledore said "I'll be going now, Ms. Granger, Professor Snape will take you to your new home tonight. Mr. And Mrs. Granger, I'm sure you understand."  
  
"Of course Professor." Mr. Granger replied.  
  
"Until later Seveus, Ms. Oh, um er, Mr. Granger." Dumbledore nodded at them and then disapperated.  
  
Hermione stood there for a moment looking around and fidegeting uncomfortably.  
  
"Is there something wrong Hermione?" Mrs. Granger asked.  
  
"Well it's just that all the sudden my jeans are really, um, tight." And with that she rished to her room to find a pair of pants more comfortable for her souther regions. 


	2. Explanations

Disclaimer: I am not JKR therefore I do not own Harry Potter, the characters, Hogwarts, etc. etc.  
  
Hermione had reached her room and now was in for the struggle of her life.Getting those jeans off was hard work.When she finally did she breathed a sigh of relief.after digging through her drawers and closet she found what she was looking for and began pulling off her tank top and panties, another article of clothing not recommended for those with the male anotamy, so she could done the clothes she had dug out. A pair of blue plaid boxers she normally used for sleeping in, a baggy pair of black jeans, and a baggy shirt with a rancid logo on it. Next she found her three row pyramid belt and put it on.Only after she was fully dressed did she chance a look in the mirror. She couldn't help thinking she looked pretty damn good. Black hair, a nice build, and dark blue eyes. She was now roughly 5'8" as opposed to her regular 5'5".  
  
"Nice work Professors." She said approvingly.  
  
She moved quikly to her bathroom and got out some gel and spiked her hair.Remembering that she would be leaving tonight she decided to pack real quick and then go down stairs. First she went through her uniform and robes and discarded her skirts and the knee high socks. 'Ah! One of the perks of being a guy.No skirts!' she thought. Stuffing a few odds and ends into her trunk, she closed it and dragged it downstairs.She walked back into the living room and surveyed her potions professor and parents.  
  
"Well, we should be off." Professor Snape said "I'll wait outside while you say your goodbyes." And with that he walked out the door.  
  
"Hermione, we're really sorry we didn't tell you about the adoption sooner." Mrs. Granger told her daughter.  
  
"It's alright, Mum.I mean I am kind of upset but I'll get over it." Hermione replied. "I love you both and um, I guess I'll see you next summer, well hopefully."  
  
The Grangers both got up and hugged their daughter. "We'll still write you." Mr. Ganger said.  
  
"All the best dear." Was Mrs. Grangers weak goodbye. "And we love you too."  
  
"Always have, Always will." Mr. Ganger said  
  
"I think I should go." Hermione stated and grabbed her trunk and walked out the door.  
  
"There goes our baby, Matthew." Mrs. Granger said to her husband.  
  
"She's not a baby anymore , Arlene." Was her husband's reply.  
  
--------------------------------  
  
Hermione stepped out onto the porch and stood next to her Professor. "Well?" She asked.  
  
"I'm supposed to fill you in on the details but that can wait another 5 minutes." He said then set off down the street. Hermione ran after him. Not an easy feat considering she was also dragging her trunk along with her.She saw him turn down an alley and proceeded after him. She saw him standing off to the left side of the alley and moved to see what he was doing.After a few moments of rooting around in his pockets he finally found what he was looking for. He pulled out a blue disposable lighter.  
  
He turbed to her "We'll be traveling half way by portkey. Albus got us a temporary one."  
  
"Oh"  
  
"We should be on our way in a few moments so if you would be so kind as to get ready."  
  
Hermion moved toward him and put a finger on the lighter keeping on her trunk. After a few moments wait she felt a tug right behind her navel and in seconds was on a country roadside right next to a black Rolls Royce.  
  
"Yours?" She asked.  
  
Professor Snape shook his head "No, not my type of car. I'm more of a Pickup type of guy."  
  
Hermione arched an eyebrow in disbelief.She also voiced this disbelief, the only reply she got was a shrug of the shoulders.  
  
"So then who's is it?" She asked  
  
"Mothers." He replied  
  
"Ah, okay." She said then put her trunk in the back and climbed in the passengers seat in the front.He got in the drivers seat and they took off.  
  
"So, um, details if you wouldn't mind."  
  
"Alright, first off, we will explain your death as a car accident. And as you've already been told you will be living with my brother and sister-in- law.They just lost a son, and right now the only people who know are family, that would be me and my mother, as we are their only living relatives. He was your age and the potion I made for you was modified so that you would resemble him.Of course your natural appearance had some say in what you look like."  
  
"I don't think I look anything like me." Hermione replied.  
  
"Well no, not exactly but you don't look like Damien either."  
  
"Damien?"  
  
"My nephew."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"But your bone structure only allowed for slight changes. Of course I can change your eye and hair color but part of it was up to your body."  
  
"But."  
  
He held a hand up to stop her "This potion was only meant to change your anotamy. If I hadn't modified it to a certain degree, well enough to a certain degree that it didn't end up the polyjuice potion which wouldn't work for obvious reasons,"  
  
"Because your nephew is dead, so his body won't be able to grow more hair and there wouldn't be enough now for a full year or however long I might have to keep this up."  
  
"Exactly, now may I continue uniterupted?"  
  
"Oh, um, yeah."  
  
"If I hadn't modified it you would have just ended up looking like a male you.And we want to lead everyone as far away from you as possible.Now the only way you will be able to reverse the potion is with the reverse spell to the ones Albus preformed on you.Another brilliant idea on his part, and of course he is the only one who can reverse it."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because he is the one who cast it.See you can sat a boy for the rest of your life and nobody would know, except the obvious, that you are Hermione Granger, erm, Riddle. And anybody who wants to try the reversal spells can do it until they are blue in the face with no effect."  
  
"Brilliant!" Hermione exclaimed in awe.  
  
"Yes, well, You are going to be Damien now, and for as long as you need.My brother and his wife will take care of everything you need, clothes, you school supplies, etcetera."  
  
"Okay so today forth I am Damien Snape."  
  
"Damien Michael Snape."  
  
"Okay, Damien Michael Snape." 


	3. Dinner at The Snape's

Disclaimer: This goes without saying but I own nothing of the Harry Potter universe  
  
Hermione was in and out of consciousness for the rest of the ride.In one of her out moments she felt someone shaking her shoulder. She cracked one eye open and caught a glance of Snape. Groaning she opened both eyes.  
  
"We're here." He told her  
  
'What time is it?" She asked then yawned  
  
"7 p.m." He replied "We're just in time for dinner."  
  
"I guess this means I have to move." Hermione said not really wanting to move from her comfy position.  
  
"yes it does."  
  
Hermione groaned and shifted a bit.After a few seconds she got up with exaggerated difficulty.  
  
She went to open the back so she could get her trunk but Snape stopped her.  
  
"The house elves have already been out to get it.It took me ten minutes to wake you up you know."  
  
"Sorry." She said sheepishly.  
  
"Hmmph." Was his only reply as he walked towards the house.  
  
Hermione sighed and then ran to catch up. Hermione was just noticing the house in front of her. It was a beautiful Victorian style house, with three floors and a humungous garden. In the middle of the circular drive way was a fountain with a sculpture of a fairy in the middle. She surveyed this beautiful scene with a type of glee only a girl could posses. What she didn't relies however was that she had fallen behind again and that Snape was already standing on the front porch with an attractive middle age couple and an older woman.All of whom were watching her.Only when her professor called her over did she stop admiring the grounds.  
  
She jogged up to them.  
  
"Hermione, this is my brother, Angelo, and his wife, Sabrina, and my mother Mrs. Snape."  
  
"Hello." She said somewhat shyly.  
  
"You'll have to call us Mum and Dad in public but when we are here you can call us Angelo and Sabrina." Sabrina said gently.  
  
"Or you can call us that crazy old couple.Whatever works for you." Angelo said with a boyish grin.  
  
"Angelo!" Sabrina said in a warning tone.  
  
"And you can call Ime/I Nana." Said Mrs. Snape a sixty-some year old woman with sharp but kind dark blue eyes , black hair pulled into a bun at the back of her head and a generous bosom.  
  
"Yes Ma'ma, er, Nana." Hermione said  
  
'Nana' nodded her head in a satisfied sort of way and walked into the house calling for the rest of them to follow, that dinner was getting cold.  
  
Hermione was having a hard time believing these people were related to her greasy git of a professor, Hell she was having a hard time believing that the guy standing next to her was her professor.He was being so nice it was almost like the twighlight zone.  
  
Soon they were all seated in an impressive dining room.The adults fell into a pleasant conversation and Hermione half heatedly listened.Instead she studied the people surrounding her.Mainly the people who would be her legal guardians for the moment.Sabrina was a pretty brunette of about thirty with soft grey eyes and a nice tan.She wasn't by any means skinny but she wasn't fat.She was, by Hermiones standards, the perfect build.Hermione never could stand stick thin girls.She even thought she needed to gain wait, what she didn't know was femal population of Hogwarts would kill to get her curves and the male half would kill to run their hands over them.Angelo Had his mothers dark blue eyes and black hair the only diffrence was Angelo's eyes had a mischievous glint to them.an almost exact copy of his older brother, Severus, Save a few years younger and he smiled a lot more.  
  
It was only when they started discussing her professors love life did she listen intently.  
  
"Severus, when are you gonna find a nice woman and settle down?Your thirty- seven years old and you have yet to get married." 'Nana' Asked.  
  
"I'll get married when I'm good and ready mother." He replied  
  
"What about this Minerva you work with?" Angelo asked "I heard Albus say she's a wonderful woman.Why don't you court her?"  
  
Hermione couldn't hold her laughter back, it just burst out. 'Nana' and Sabrina looked confused, Severus was looking at her disapprovingly and Angelo was smiling cluelessly.  
  
"What's the joke?" He asked  
  
"Pro-Pro-Pro-Professor McGonagall." She said barley getting the words out for all her laughter.  
  
Everyone else looked at Severus and he just shrugged.  
  
Once Hermione had calmed down and apologized everyone resumed their meal.After that they kept the conversation lighthearted. After dinner Hermione was excused to go to bed having been told they would be very busy the next day.  
  
Once the adults had settled down into the sitting room they picked up their conversation from the porch.  
  
"Well I think she's wonderful." Sabrina said.  
  
"Poor girl," Nana started "Being trapped in a boys body must not be at all fun."  
  
"I told you Mother, it's for her own protection." Severus said with an exasperated sigh.  
  
"Don't feel to sorry for her yet Mother," Angelo began "Feel sorry for her when she has to use the boys bathroom at school." And then he broke out into gales of laughter and after a few moments of trying to be dignified Severus joined him.While the women watched them in amusment.  
  
Hermione climbed the stairs wearily. If she wasn't so tired she would have been indignant at being told to go to bed like a child. But as it was she was almost dead on her feet, and that beside the initial shock of what had come to pass over the last 24 hours was wearing off and the weight of it was hitting it at full force.finally she found the room that had been given to her and collapsed on the bed. Tears were welling up in her eyes.Slowley they started to make their way down her cheeks and pretty soon she was sobbing quietly into her pillow. 


	4. Author's Note

Hey sorry guys, I've had a severe case of writers block.I'm trying my hardest to get a new chapter out.Just give it a week or two, okay. Anyways I'm thinking about making this a Harry/Hermione fic instead of a Lupin/Hermione fic.  
  
So tell me which one you guys and gals prefer and I'll give it a go. 


	5. The Next 2 Weeks

Disclaimer/ nothing is mine 'cept the plot, yadda yadda yadda.. A/N I know it's slow right now and that I've been taking forever to update and I'm sorry. My muse moved, and he finally called today. Anyways, almost everyone told me to make it a Remus/Hermione story so I'll keep it Remus/Hermione.  
  
Hermione woke up the next morning with some slight discomfort in her pants. She groaned, "Great, this just keeps getting better and better." She lay there for a moment staring at the ceiling. Slowly she got up and headed towards the bathroom. Once in there she decided that a cold shower would be the best course of action. Turning the water on she stripped and got in. Hermione picked up her wash clothe and a bar of soap and without glancing down proceeded to wash herself.  
  
'Oh, I can't wait till I can have my body back the way it was.'  
  
As soon as she was done she jumped out and dried herself as quick as possible. Heading back into her room she threw on her last pair of boxers and baggy pants. Then she rummaged through her trunk for a shirt. Once she found one and donned it she crammed her feet into her chucks and ran down for breakfast.  
  
She met Angelo at the dining room doors.  
  
"Good Morning Hermione." Angelo greeted her cheerfully  
  
"Good Morning Angelo." She replied in kind.  
  
"I hope you like eggs and bacon." He said, "It's the only thing Mother taught me how to make."  
  
"You cook?" She asked  
  
"A little bit. Mother taught all us boys how to cook some things. Thank Merlin Mother lives with Sabrina and I. Seeing as I can only cook eggs and bacon and Sabrina can't cook at all." He said  
  
Hermione sat down at the table "I thought most wizarding families had house elves to do that sort of stuff."  
  
"Yes, but Mother believes it's a woman's work to clean and cook." He replied  
  
"Well I agree. Well not about it's the woman's job, I mean cause a man could do it to.But I agree with not having house elves." Hermione stated  
  
"Mother will be pleased to hear it." Angelo said  
  
"Where is everybody anyways?" Hermione asked  
  
"They went to see a friend of Mothers." Angelo replied, "They should be back within the hour. Then Mother and Sabrina will take you shopping for some new cloths."  
  
Hermione groaned, "I hate shopping."  
  
"I can relate." Angelo said sympathetically  
  
They ate the rest of their breakfast in silence. When they were done however Angelo asked about Hermione's summer homework and if she would like to go over it with him.  
  
"It's habit." He told her "Used to do this with Damien."  
  
"Alright but hold on a moment so I can go get all my stuff." Hermione replied the rushed upstairs to get her homework.  
  
After about Half an hour of going over her homework and Hermione adding stuff in at the last minute they were done.  
  
"Thanks for helping Angelo."  
  
"No problem."  
  
They used the rest of the time they had reading in Angelo's library.  
It had been over an hour and a half since breakfast. Sabrina, Nana, and Severus had been back for half an hour. Sabrina and Nana were herding Hermione out the door so they could go shopping.  
  
Hermione looked back and mouthed 'Help me' to Angelo. He only smiled and waved.  
  
Hermione climbed into the backseat of Nana's Rolls Royce, leaned her head back and closed her eyes. Riding in cars always put her to sleep.  
  
Hermione woke up just as Nana was parking beside the leaky cauldron.Sabrina put a few coins into the meter and then they walked in.  
  
Despite everything shopping with Nana and Sabrina had been okay. Seeing as she had already gotten her books and restocked her potions supply. So basically all they had to get was her robes. Then they went into muggle London to get her some shirts and pants. All in all it had been a pretty good day.  
  
That night at dinner everything went fairly smoothly also.Aside from the fact that the constant whispering of dirty jokes between her and Angelo got them both told off by Sabrina.  
  
"Merlin help me, it's like having two teenagers instead of one." She told her mother-in-law.  
  
Nana just patted her leg and told her that being married to Angelo she should expect it by now.  
  
And again she was sent to bed early.  
  
The next two weeks past fairly quickly for her, Nana took it upon herself to give her cooking lessons. Angelo would let her have free reign of his library in the afternoons, when he didn't have any business to attend to. They would often lock themselves in there for hours at a time and every time Hermione came out she positively glowed for Angelo's library rivaled Hogwart's own.Ecspecially the would be restricted section.  
  
Hermione was almost sad when she had to board the Hogwart's express on platform 9 ¾.  
  
It would be an understatment to say she was nervous. She was absolutely terrified of going back. Climbing aboard she set out a search for a compartment. Finally she found one that was empty and made herself at home for the time being. But soon she had company, a seventh year hufflepuff , Justin Finch- Fletchy to be precise.  
  
Hermione had never been friends with him, mere acquaintances yes, but friends no. So Hermione took this time to really get to know him. Frankly she was surprised to find that he was a very intresting person.  
  
He wasn't as quidditch crazy as the rest of Hogwarts male (and in most cases female) population. Although he did like the game. He was just as much into hard rock and alternative as her, and that he had wanted to, and still planned to, go to a muggle college and major in history and archeology.  
  
"I really like that sort of thing you know. I'm obsessed with knowing what everything was like at different time periods. And you know all the species of animals that aren't here today." He told her " And with my wizarding training, I might understand it more. Because now I have two p.o.v.'s . I'll know what the muggles I work with won't because of what I am you know."  
  
Hermione laughed, "I don't think that makes any sense but I think I know what you mean."  
  
Justin laughed with her, "You know, for being a pure blood you know a lot about muggles."  
  
"What can I say, muggles aren't that bad."  
  
"And surprisingly for being related to Snape, you're not that bad."  
  
"Uncle Severus isn't that bad really.Just."  
  
He interrupted her, "Just misunderstood?"  
  
Hermione shrugged, "Yeah, something like that." 


End file.
